my first time

it is my first time..painting nails xD
okay i really have to admit this.
i totally sucked at it.
why ?!
i see some girls painted their nails so nicely..
and mine is like a piece of sh*t =_=
i dont really have that patience..
like to paint it carefully without touching other places..
like to wait for a couple of minutes for it to dry..
like to clean the tainted areas around my nails..
it so URGGHHH i dono how to say..
i mean...at last..i managed to colour all my nails..
but =_= still not nice..
i guess im only good at using one colour--
the transparent ones =(
how sad !
and now,me,with my nails looking disfigured+poisoned,i am so pissed off.(btw i use neon purple)
but.im tired =_= i mean who the hell,would spend like an hour + to paint 10 fingernails?
i decided to leave it as it is..untill tommorow. =) then i'll be frustrated,again,by the nex morning.

someone..anyone...teach me how to paint nails =(...

aih.
when he takes the initiative to message me on msn today (yesterday..duh)..
i was like WOHOO IM SO DAMN HAPPY.macam kena lottery.(nola..maybe i strike lottery will be happier)
then my net screwed the whole thing by signing me out of my msn.
then i kept pressing the sign in button like mad.
when i sucessfully,finally,managed to get into my freaking msn after gazillion attempts..
he's gone.
i was like ahahaha...thank you very much net.
i know.friends told me to forget it and get a life.
i....am trying but..have to be honest...not now.
it doesnt means that im lifeless,unhappy because i lost him..
no.
im happy cuz im free,im doing what i wanted to do,im enjoying every bit of my life.
but there's still an empty space deep down in my heart,hollow and unfilled,screaming out for his name.
how many nights i had dreamed about him..
and the worst part is...alot of things i do reminds me of him..
so damn frustrating.
hope he's fine..

and to my dad..hope that u r okay..
pressure from work...i can feel it..


-xin-