music: some long forgotten anime music + coldplay.
im wishing for my sem2 to come a.s.a.p.
i mean.yeah.its holidays.
this is the time when i can forget about test,school work and my awful grades.
this is the time when i can immerse myself into my so-called IDEAL type of lifestyle which is actually quite standardized: sleep,eat,play,tidur,makan,main,睡，吃，玩。xD
but..
i felt kinda..lost rite now.
its like dumping me into somewhere isolated,somewhere deserted.
emo attacks me this week =(...feeling all moody and sometimes cranky =_=..shyt.
im controlling my messed-up mood..
yes.im annoying nowadays.
because i kept mentioning about him.gosh..in almost every goddamn post.
the fact that it didnt worked out,the fact that i lost him almost a month ago,the fact that we are not going to be like what we used to be kept haunting me.
why am i so not over it? i never felt like this before.im no newcomer to relationships.
i start to think, i even sat at a corner to rearrange my thoughts..
i think..its because i got too involved into this relationship. =/
i was truly,madly,deeply (lol.does the band name savage garden rings the bell?) in love.
when everything was supposed to be over,i couldnt boldly mark an end to it.
i felt like a kid,a really naive one,still waiting for his phone calls,his text messages.
i hoped that he will still shelter me with all the love and care,like he once did.
i miss everything of him.
of course,i dont stalk.i do talk to him tru msn sometimes,altot we dont talk much.
im trying hard to keep my cool,trying not to mention him in front of people..
oh but im not breaking down secretly xD.im okay.just a bit frustrated sometimes.
just because i have nothing to do,those vivid images and memories of him came swarming into my mind.
im not over it.
im still trying to slap reality onto my face.
so sem 2,please please come.
i need things to get me busy.
i need to worry about other things.
i need to get used to my new life,a life without him.
they say the best remedy to forget a person is to find another person to love.
well,then my new lover would be my studies.me and my crappy grades =_=.
promise myself that this would be the last sentimental post about him.hopefully..
im so into P.S. I Love You ~ i freaking love this blardy novel.
-xin-
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