overdoing things?

mood: freedom-ing
music: none

firstly,li xin claims that this is NOT an emo post
in my humble opinion, writing about feelings doesn't make a person emo :)
secondly,im not directly talking about romantic relationships althought it more or less contributes and points out some of my feelings.
thirdly,i have no idea why on earth i need to make clarifications xD
DENG !

sometimes i wonder: am i overdoing things?
not all things.i admit im not overly passionate about everything,everyone. {ish xD)
just...
things that i cared for..
things that is important to me..
im,honestly, afraid to lose them.

so i did my best, i put in effort to protect what i possess now.
however.recently, i found out what im doing is just plain bull.
im like overdoing it.
because im so scared to lose what i have now,and i keep putting in effort to ensure things are safetly placed on where it was used to be.at least, in my own imaginary place.maybe i do too much or i think too much.
and i don't want regrets. i always believe efforts brings results.

but then.
when some people weren't meant for you,they just don't.
the things you've done,it meant so much to you.however,they don't mean a thing to the others.
when you hoped for something to happen and strive for it,things just don't turn out the way you expect it to be.
don't get me wrong yet: im not complaining.it's the facts :)are they not?
i still strongly agree that things won't just drop from the sky,waiting for you to pick up the prize.
just: i learned something.
trying too hard,sometimes,just worsen things.
maybe it's time for me to mild down and stay cool.
distance,maybe a certain amount of it,is perfection.
i wouldn't know yet :)

and i think the hardest thing for me to acheive is: the sense of equality.
moderation now,perhaps :)?

-xin